Professional depression

I have been posting increasingly infrequently, which is not a reflection of a diminished sense of solidarity, nor of having too little time; while that is now more the case than ever, it has always been true. Rather, harassment and discrimination have taken their toll, and I have focused all my energies on trying to ensure that my amazing students don't suffer as a result of my own Taylorist depression. I have been on both sides of this coin many times before, and know intellectually it will pass, though that is little help in the moment. I still hope to transform my lull back into something revolutionary—depression being one of the most bourgeois and anti-revolutionary ways in which certain classes of people are taught to embody and thus isolate the violence of capitalism and patriarchy in this society.

One thing has become clear from the hundreds of emails I received from women who were inspired by my most recent Counterpunch article to share with me their own stories. The hostility I have experienced in relation to the inevitable intersection of my productive and reproductive labors is a hostility that is experienced and individualized by huge numbers of (mostly) women in the United States, for whom in many cases it is career destroying. And it must be kept in mind that only women who identified with my own story—as a white woman of certain privilege—emailed me. How much worse is it for women who daily experience the conjugated oppressions of racism, classism and sexism (And why is my spellcheck telling me classism isn't a word)? All this to say, I believe there is a revolution trapped under the surface of the normalized workplace sexism that we call "professionalism," and I very much want to help free it. I also want to go back to posting about everything that is going on in Honduras. There's so much to do. It just feels overwhelming.